How are our Emotions different from our Feelings?

It took me many years of studying psych material and practicing therapeutic techniques to finally feel the need that I should educate myself on the difference of emotion and feeling and how they should be managed in our body. The urge to do so started when I planned a holistic workshop with a good friend of mine, whom is a yoga instructor, on how we feel our feelings, that was then that I realized even though “feelings and emotions” are very familiar topics, they are so abstract that many of us might not know the difference.

As I started researching and studying, I learned that based on Stanford encyclopaedia of philosophy, “ No aspect of our mental life is more important to the quality and meaning of our existence than the emotions.” My take on this is that, above all other life factors, if we are not feeling good, if our nervous system is not regulated and functioning normally, we are not living a high quality life. So,

what should we do to live a better life?

A better life starts with a more enhanced emotional life. Now, where shall we start?

I will go through this topic in a most simple way, and guide you through it step by step, so read on! Our number one tool will be this “Emotion and Feeling Wheel” which is widely used in any counselling and therapeutic setting.

Emotion Vs Feeling Simplified

Emotion and Feeling wheel

First Layer: What are Emotions

We are starting with the very inner circle, the smaller one which shows our six primary core emotions. These are the universal, instinctual emotions that are deeply rooted in our sympathetic nervous system. That’s where our “fight-or-flight” response is lying which is a very key part to our response to stressful or life-threatening situations.

What are emotions? Emotions are physical states. They arouse as a response to external stimuli. Hence, they will cause alterations in our body and its chemistry. They are aroused before feelings.

They can be located somewhere in the body, for example when we the emotion of fear is activated, we might feel shortened in breaths, frozen hands and etc. They are hard or impossible to hide. When we are emotionally aroused, for example, in a state of pure anger, we cannot hide it.

So now, you have the basic, necessary knowledge to distinguish emotions and feelings. You can use the tool to identify the core primary emotion when you feel something is off in your body or you are confused why you feel a certain way. Next, I will debrief “feelings”.

---

Second Layer: What are feelings

After identifying the emotion, it’s time to move to the second layer and identify the feelings that are rooted in that emotion. Here is how to do that:

Feelings are mental associations that we give to the primary emotion. Feelings are generated after we give meaning to the experience of the primary emotion. For example, “envy and jealousy” are rooted in anger. Anger is aroused when we feel we have been treated “unjustly or unfairly”. The meaning we attribute is probably something along the line of: “They have something that I wish I had. This is not fair. Life is not fair; hence I feel jealous”. Meanings are another interesting yet complex psychological phenomenon. For the purpose of this post, just know that the meanings we associate to our inner experiences are very personal and unique, they stem from past memories and life experiences that only us knew how it felt when we were in that situation.

Feelings can be hidden: You can actually hide your jealousy with a fake smile! Not many people are hyper attuned, and they’d probably miss or maybe not even care about the feeling behind your smile!

Feelings are more of a mental experience than a bodily experience.

To conclude, emotions are less complex to identify, making them easier to track and label. You can use the feeling wheel daily by just simply taking a glimpse at it. It will help a lot with building the knowledge and emotional literacy. Next step, is to follow the identified emotion to the second layer and identify the more complex stage, which is the feelings attached to that emotion and maybe see what mental associations are you attributing to the primary emotion that is creating the feeling, cause remember; feelings are mental associations.

Do you feel you need to learn more about your emotions and feelings?

To learn more about your personal meanings, and managing your intense emotional responses and feelings, you can book a session and we can discuss things further in a safe, non-judgmental environment. I look forward to hear from you and don’t forget to leave me a comment, Im genuinely curious to know your experiences around emotions and feelings.

My name is Nikta Niazi and in my role as a therapist, I am committed to provide support and guidance to individuals facing various challenges on their life journey. check out my other blog posts for weekly improvements and if you believe I can help you, have your

15-minute Free call booked with me right now

Book your Free Call